I've posted a bit on our blog about releasing balloons for Blaze on Saturday but on a more personal note I would like to express some of what releasing the ballons meant for me. In the picture above what you can't see are the tears and heartache of standing at our little boys graveside on the day he was due... I stood there for what seemed like a very long time just stroking the ribbons tied to the balloons and crying. Ray stood by me and we both shared sacred and touching moments as we wondered what it would be like to not have had this experience and to be having a healthy little baby to bring home.
I think part of me is beginning to understand a bit of this experience was to help me rely more fully upon Heavenly Father and to have a much much deeper appreciation for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I know that he is the ONLY way I can make it thru this. I have felt the saving power of the atonement many times thru this experience in a way I have may never understood without it.
As I stroked the strings on the balloons I prayed for the strength to let them go and to let go of all the anger and hurt, I think I was more scared of handing that over than anything else. I also prayed that in some way these balloons might reach heaven... that our little boy might get the kisses and love we were sending! I think for me releasing the balloons was a way of reaching Heaven but not being physically able to do so... so I am grated for balloons and and for Gods love.
So to my little Angel I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU!
I hope you got Mommys Kisses and Daddys Love!
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